At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
