I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
