508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You took a bar mat shot.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
