his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Fuck appropriateness.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize