cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize