we have officially lost it.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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