$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
