the new term for farting is butt boxing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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