Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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