he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
