you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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