when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Randomize