took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
