i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
