I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
