you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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