i already hear my dad disowning me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize