Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
