Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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