Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I am mentally ready for anal.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
