the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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