Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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