ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
