No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize