Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
