Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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