I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My life is pants optional.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
