Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
