FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize