Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
