She said her name was "party"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
