my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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