Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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