i jhust puked up my retainher.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
