There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
