is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
