me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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