Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
