Yo dont text me then not text me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
