I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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