Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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