stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize