I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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