That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
