Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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