It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
