chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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