Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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