no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
