Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
