I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize