Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Semen is not good for contacts.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
