his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
