You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
