He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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