A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
