Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Congratulations! We have a period
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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