We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
