Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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