If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
