Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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