I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
