we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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