nut hugger
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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