Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
