I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize