a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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