well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize