it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
