He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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